I’ve decided I’m not cut out to be a stay-at-home mom. As much as I love not having to live life by an alarm clock and being able to hangout with you all day, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m not holding up my end of the deal.
Cleaning the house has never been my strong point. Your dad says I don’t clean, I just do a lot of moving things from one place to another. We have two housecleaners that help us out with the actual cleaning. Whenever your dad gripes about how much we pay them, I remind him that as soon as your big enough, we can take advantage of this thing called “chores.” We can get rid of the cleaners and pay you next to nothing to clean the house, claiming we’re trying to teach you responsibility. I am so looking forward to this day!
I’ve had close to eight weeks off and I still don’t like to cook. I dreamt that with all this time off I’d spend my days scouring through cookbooks, buying organic farm fresh produce at the local farmers market, and whipping up delicious meals with the new high-end gourmet kitchen your dad built. Yes, I told him that with all new Viking appliances, I was bound to like cooking more and he'd be guaranteed home-cooked meals, just like the ones he grew up with. I was wrong. But I’m pretty sure that the Freschetta frozen pizzas your dad likes must surely taste better, since it’s baked in a Viking range.
Cleaning the house has never been my strong point. Your dad says I don’t clean, I just do a lot of moving things from one place to another. We have two housecleaners that help us out with the actual cleaning. Whenever your dad gripes about how much we pay them, I remind him that as soon as your big enough, we can take advantage of this thing called “chores.” We can get rid of the cleaners and pay you next to nothing to clean the house, claiming we’re trying to teach you responsibility. I am so looking forward to this day!
I’ve had close to eight weeks off and I still don’t like to cook. I dreamt that with all this time off I’d spend my days scouring through cookbooks, buying organic farm fresh produce at the local farmers market, and whipping up delicious meals with the new high-end gourmet kitchen your dad built. Yes, I told him that with all new Viking appliances, I was bound to like cooking more and he'd be guaranteed home-cooked meals, just like the ones he grew up with. I was wrong. But I’m pretty sure that the Freschetta frozen pizzas your dad likes must surely taste better, since it’s baked in a Viking range.
With me going back to work full time, I’ve calculated that I will be getting out of changing dirty diapers 40 hours a week. And this excites me! Who looks forward to going back to work, in order to avoid changing diapers? Yeah, yet one more sign I’m not cut out to be a stay-at-home mom.
In an attempt to avoid doing laundry when we first brought you home, I came up with an ingenius plan. I went out and purchased a one-month supply of baby clothes. Laundry once a month? Brilliant. Only it wasn’t so brilliant. Nobody told me how fast babies grow. So now we have a month supply of newborn baby clothes that have been worn only once.
I did try to keep you in those clothes as long as possible, but when everyone started making fun of you being squished into your pajamas, I finally broke down and we moved you up a size. Only this time I didn’t buy a one month supply.
Some moms have what it takes to be a stay-at-home mom, others don’t. I’m of the latter. Whether you like it or not, you won’t be growing up with a Betty Crocker Mom who has fresh baked chocolate chip cookies waiting for you when you get home from school. But, the pre-made cookie dough at the grocery store is pretty good, and I know where there’s a Viking range…
Some moms have what it takes to be a stay-at-home mom, others don’t. I’m of the latter. Whether you like it or not, you won’t be growing up with a Betty Crocker Mom who has fresh baked chocolate chip cookies waiting for you when you get home from school. But, the pre-made cookie dough at the grocery store is pretty good, and I know where there’s a Viking range…
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