PLAN B

Have you ever wondered what would happen if your dad and I passed away at the same time?  It's a grim thought, but it has to be thought about, or as luck would have it, it's bound to happen, right?  But then again in the same regard, now that we've thought about it and have a plan, then of course it shouldn't happen, right?  At least that's my thought on it. 

Well, in the unlikely event it ever does happen, we're going to have you  shipped off to Minnesota, to live in the middle of nowhere.  A place where there is probably more livestock than town residents and nothing to look at but a lot of farm land, as far as the eye can see.  Really, we are.  Don't worry though, you can still come back to Portland for visits during the holidays and summer breaks.   

Why?  What did you do to deserve such a thing?  It's not that bad really.  Here's why...

That's right, we're sending you off to live in Morris, Minnesota with your Uncle Eric, Aunt Meghan, Cousin Avery, and any other future offspring of theirs.  But why them?

After a long and thought out process by your dad and I, we decided that these two are probably most like us when it comes to parenting and raising kids.  Besides our similar personalities, interests, parenting style, and undeniably fabulous good looks, we share other things in common.  Things like...

They're dentists.  I'm a dentist.

I like to shop. Meghan loves to shop.

We like a good restaurant. They like a good restaurant.

We like to snow ski. They like to snow ski.

Your dad likes to golf.  They like to golf.  So much so that Meghan once used a golf cart to haul Avery around the course in her car seat, so that she could play.  I try to golf, but your dad only allows me on the $15 and under 9 hole courses, since anything more would be a waste of money with my golf game.

We like wine.  They like wine.

Your dad likes to water ski.  Make that loves to water ski.  They love to water ski.  I tried once and can't say that I loved it. 

Your dad likes to puzzle.  Eric likes to puzzle.  Really, they both like to puzzle.

Besides that, there are so many other reasons why we can see them raising you.  Did I also mention that they own another home on Lake Minnetonka and have a ski boat?  Not that that had anything to do with our decision.   

So, that's Plan B in a nutshell.  That is unless you're in high school and don't want to leave Portland, then we'll have to switch to Plan C.  Plan C?  This will thing is too complicated.  I'll leave that to the attorney.